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Previous Entry Hello! Mar. 2nd, 2004 @ 08:51 pm
A little something about this little story here... Two years ago I wrote this for a contest someone was having and you had to use specific words that were in bold... and they probably look funny since I coppied and pasted this... lol. This is what I was thinking about using for my second story but now I'm not cause I just re-read it... lol. This is Maggie by the way. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Craving Chocolate: I yawn tiredly as I walk quickly down the street with the light of the full moon guiding my way. I am on a mission and it entails chocolate, and lots of it. Hey, when you get a craving, you get a craving and the only way to satisfy it is to give it what it wants. I look around at my surroundings and notice that the streets were eerily empty with the exception of one bus picking up a few people. For a moment I think about heading back but I shake the feeling off and walk on. Finally I reach the little corner store. Entering the store, I make a sharp right. I know right where the chocolate is. Like I know where every piece of chocolate is within a 100-mile radius. Lucky for me I run a lot so I can afford to eat all the chocolate I want. Turning down the aisle I spot my little piece of heaven. Joy at last. The bell above the door chimes and a gruff voice yells, “get your hands in the air this is a stick up!” I groan in annoyance. Why is it that my joy is always short lived? I slowly make my way down the aisle, trying to get a better look at what is going on. From where I am standing I can’t see anything. Spotting the little buffet with the refreshments, I slowly creep behind it. I need to determine what kind of situation I have gotten myself into before I take any action. I carefully peek around the corner to see two gunmen and two hostages. There was a young woman with long black hair behind the counter and her mouth was going a mile a minute. She was going to get herself shot if she didn’t shut up. The other hostage, a male in his early thirty’s, looks like he was having a problem articulating one word, let alone a sentence. There is no way I could take both of them out with the hostages right there. I sink back behind the counter, and I pray that the robbers don’t have enough sense to check the rest of the store. For now I am safe behind the little buffet counter, as long as they didn’t get any urges for a fresh cup of coffee. I sit there and think to myself, “This chocolate addiction is becoming a hazard to my health.” I look down at my purse and see the antenna of my cell phone sticking out. I pull it out and type a quick message to David. ‘Oh he is just going to love this,’ I say quietly. Like me, he is bound to be up and if not the insistent beeping of his phone will lure him out of dreamland. With help on the way, I take a deep breath to clear my mind. I had to come up with a plan. Two hostages, two gunmen and one little detective with a small gun, the situation did not look good. I take another quick peek around the corner. The cashier is frantically throwing money in the bag and the man pointing a gun to her head is looking quite nervous. If I don’t take action soon someone is going to get hurt. If anything I can draw their attention away from her and towards me. I get my gun out of my purse, and I slowly stand up. I take my stance, my gun never wavering and I say in a commanding voice, “Freeze! LAPD! Drop your weapons!” They look at me in confusion for a minute, not knowing where to shoot. I take the opportunity and fire. I hit the first guy in the arm, knocking the gun out of his hand. I then train my weapon on the other one. He pulls the hostage closer to him and I know that I can’t take the chance I will miss. “Give it up, the whole precinct is on its way. You don’t have a chance.” I tell the other guy, as I stealthily move closer. I keep one eye trained on the other, making sure he isn’t making any moves towards his fallen gun. He is on the floor crying in pain and I am confident that he isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. What a baby. I have the sudden urge to throw one of those baby bottle lollypops at him. Through the window I see flashing lights. I knew my partner would come through for me. “See, they are already here. Put the gun down and let the hostage go. This can be all worked out.” I say calmly. Years of hostage situations and talking down jumpers have trained me well. However, that doesn’t ease my mind. Each situation is different and I still have one hostage. The woman behind the counter had enough sense to duck down at least. The criminal’s eyes dart around nervously. He is going to panic. I can feel it. I brace myself, ready to take action. This guy is a lose cannon and there is no telling what he might do. My partner comes over the loud speakers, announcing the arrival of the Calvary. I can see David over the man’s shoulder; he is slowly approaching the door. I know he wants to be here to back me up but I am a big girl, I can take care of myself. I give him a warning look with my eyes but he doesn’t back down. I turn my attention back to the perp, “So, what’s your name?” I ask, conversationally. “Patrick.” He stutters. “Well Patrick, why don’t we end this? Huh?” I ask him, my tone light. “Let him go so we can talk. Just you and me.” I say, stepping a little closer. Patrick panics and aims his gun at me instead, “Don’t come any closer!” I stare down the barrel of the gun and I think about how this doesn’t even faze me anymore. I could die right here, right this minute, yet that realization doesn’t bother me. During my little inner psychoanalysis, some hotshot rookie decides to take a shot at the suspect. The plate glass window shatters in a million pieces and the bullet misses its target. Not knowing what to do, Patrick starts firing his gun at random. Before I can react, one bullet hits my shoulder, the impact knocking me to the ground. Hot fiery pain shoots down my arm and I grimace. Damn that hurts. I look up to see that the gunman has his back to me now. The other one is lying a few feet away, passed out from the pain no doubt. I carefully get up from the floor and put my gun to the back of his head. No more misses nice cop. “Let him go unless you have a death wish.” Patrick immediately releases his hostage. David runs up and relieves the man of his weapon. Before I can even blink the rest of the department descends on the scene like locusts. Holding my shoulder, I stumble behind the counter to check on the other hostage. She is sitting on a small chair crying her eyes out. Two strong hands grasp my shoulders and move me away. “Hey tiger, come on lets get you looked at. Let someone else check her out.” David’s tone is soft and caring. I turn my head around and fix him with a death stare. I hate it when he calls me tiger. I don’t know why it just irks me and he knows it. He proceeds to guide me over to the waiting ambulance and for some reason this seems to make me even angrier. “David, you’re hovering.” I grit out. He smiles down at me. “I have an excuse. How is it that you always manage to find trouble wherever you go? And further more what the hell were you doing out this late at night alone?” He scolds. Sometimes he acts like an overprotective brother. “I am a trained officer of the LAPD,” I inform him. “I think I am capable of taking care of myself.” An EMT pushes a gurney over to me and I sigh in frustration, “A weekend in the ER. My favorite,” I say sarcastically. David nods knowingly and helps me onto the gurney; “If you’re a good girl I’ll take you to the fair tomorrow so you can ride the carousel.” He teases, his eyes shining down into mine. Love surges up forbidden somewhere deep inside me and I fight to keep it hidden. I smile up at him and there is no doubt in my mind that he won’t make good on his promise. He reaches down and cups my cheek with his hand, “I’m glad your alright Day.” I smile at his nickname for me. This man was truly endearing. They load me into the ambulance and I wave at him. He nods his head and jogs off to his car. I know he will be at the hospital way before the ambulance gets there. Suddenly I remember that I still don’t have any chocolate. From somewhere out of the blue a Hershey’s almond bar appears in my hand. I look in surprise at the open doors of the ambulance. David must have gone back in for one because he is standing there wearing a goofy grin. I knew I could count on him. I look down at the candy bar and I shake my head, “All of this for some chocolate?” I unwrap it and I take a bite. “Yep, but it was worth it.” I say, grinning from ear to ear. © Copyright 2002 TheSorceressMaeve (UN: maggybeth at Writing.Com). All rights reserved. TheSorceressMaeve has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
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From:mastiva
Date:March 2nd, 2004 06:12 pm (UTC)

Fun Fun

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First off, I heartily welcome you to our little, (but growing oh yes)group here.

I just want to say this is a great piece; it is rare to see someone successfully write a first person present tense story and have it make sense. It has a very stream of conscious feel to it that I appreciate, yet is understandable. There's a couple of spots that you change to past tense (we're), obviously a mere oversight. Excellently fun piece Maggie, now we just have to figure out why it's not letting you put spaces between paragraphs.

Question : do you have a chocolate addiction yourself?
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